WEBVTT
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Hey Ryan,
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Yeah.
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how are you at keeping houseplants alive?
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Hmm.
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Well, that depends on what kind of plant it is and where it is.
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Hmm.
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What about you?
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Considering today's topic, I don't want to answer that.
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Why not?
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You'll see.
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Poor plans.
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Poor plants.
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Welcome to another episode of Go Coach Yourself, a podcast to help you get unfucked and build the incredible life you deserve.
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We're Vic and Ryan, two certified coaches trying to change the world one conversation at a time.
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So Vic, what's up?
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What is it that we're talking about today?
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The
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We are talking about the plant analogy.
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the plant analogy sounds interesting.
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However, I'm going to need a little bit more than that.
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Yeah.
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So today we're going to use a plant as an analogy for self care.
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Oh, okay.
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This should be pretty good.
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It is, but Before we go any further, we're going to have to ask you, dear listeners, to go on a journey with us today.
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We're talking about self care through the lens Of a plant.
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Our friend, Brian, he's going to be so happy.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, he is.
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He is.
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And also, sorry, Brian.
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Like if this
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Yeah.
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somehow anyway, if there's anything wrong, like just forgive us in advance.
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Like,
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Cue to Brian switching this podcast off.
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yeah, yeah.
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OkaY.
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So where do we begin?
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I don't know, like back in February I made an Instagram post on my Whistlesmith account and I had this idea that humans are like plants and whilst Plants come with care instructions specific to that plant.
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Humans don't.
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And yet, we need taking care of in much the same way.
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And so, we are gonna dig into that analogy today.
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Okay.
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Awesome.
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So, I mean, I love analogies and I want to go all the way with this.
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So I think we need to start with figuring out what kind of plant you would be.
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Are you an indoor plant, outdoor plant?
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do you have flowers?
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what do you think?
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That's so hard! I'm literally thinking of all the plants that I own, or have owned.
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Okay, this is interesting and I'm thinking again of our friend Brian and I can imagine him having an amazing answer here you go, what about you?
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Okay.
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So I didn't actually.
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Think that that was required, but it was a little fun to watch that whole, like process of wondering.
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And I have to tell you, I'm, probably the same that like sense of pure panic is definitely, what I would feel too.
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Like, I think that's tough.
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It really depends on what my mood is or what the day is.
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but that would be a really good team icebreaker for people to get deeper into discussion.
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Like what kind of plant are you and why?
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Oh, see we're not only a go coach yourself pod, also giving you exercises to do with your team.
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Oh my word.
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Okay, getting started for real though.
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There are some great basic principles to this.
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And so let's lay them out and then we can go deeper one by one.
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Great.
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Yeah.
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And this, this is a really good one.
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So there are many things that plants need to survive and thrive, such as water,
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A regular pruning,
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the right spot to bloom
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sunlight.
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and every now and then being repotted when needed.
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Yes.
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All right, let's start with water.
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So plants need water to survive and like every one of them needs a different amount of water on a different cadence and sometimes that even varies depending on the season or the time of the year.
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And so what is your water?
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Think about what fills your bucket.
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What's the investment you're making in yourself to keep growing for your body, for your mind, for your spirit.
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And this should be related to your purpose and values.
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And we've got episodes on both of those, so go and check those out.
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We've got a purpose episode and a values episode.
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But this is about what brings you energy, what is so intrinsic to you thriving in this world.
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And it's going to be a combination of things.
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And so, for example, it might be related to diet, working out, getting the right rest.
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It might be a hobby that brings in some cash on the side.
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Uh, could be the pursuit of learning or getting qualified in something.
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Whatever it is, you just need to determine how much of it you need to survive.
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And then add a little bit more so you can thrive.
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And if you are unsure what this is, so if you're sat here thinking, oh, I don't, I don't know what that is, I don't know what, what it is that fills my bucket or brings me energy.
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Take a little time to reflect and think about the following questions.
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What's that thing you can start, get lost in for hours and not care where the time went?.
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When you're feeling tired, what's the thing that you can do and it restores your energy?
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What is the thing that the minute you finish it, you wish you had more time to do it again?
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What's the thing you keep coming back to time and time again?
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And then another one to consider here is what is it that makes your heart dance?
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That's just a fun list of questions.
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Like just have fun with those at the very least, you know, and I'm, I'm prompted to take the analogy a little further here by.
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Noting that when plants don't get water, their leaves get shriveled and, you know, they can get a little gnarly looking.
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Are you watering your plants frequently enough?
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Are you watering yourself frequently enough in the ways that these questions are asking?
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Is there enough of the thing that fills your bucket in your life?
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And I really loved that you pointed out, like, add just a little bit more.
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Because think you're hinting at the fact there that all of us by default might shortchange ourselves just a little bit.
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percent yes.
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So I love how you're totally getting into this with me now.
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I love that.
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Oh, I'm, I am in it.
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Uh, Christopher, has a small house plant jungle in the recording space that I sit in.
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So, I mean, there are plants all around and I'm literally just imagining him and Doing the things that we're talking about to all of these plants.
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Um, and so just the other day he was actually doing some pruning.
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And so I think we should talk about that one next.
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Yes.
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All right.
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So plants need to be pruned in order to help them grow, some more than others.
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And so some you'll only do once a year.
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Some are going to need it on a more regular basis.
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You just have to like futz around and figure out what's right for them.
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clear away dead leaves or any debris.
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That's around the plants.
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And when we think about this applied to humans, you know, this might be something like getting rid of possessions that no longer serve you or that you no longer need.
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Uh, it might be moving on from relationships or people that no longer align with your growth.
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And, you said in a previous pod, I think it was the one about how to know your people.
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That some people come into your life for a reason.
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a season or a lifetime.
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I really liked that.
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Mm,
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for ourselves.
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When we prune appropriately, we can start to recognize the people that have maybe fulfilled their reason or outlived their season.
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And we can let go of those things that no longer serve us.
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And that's okay.
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It's totally okay.
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Uh, in the same vein that you shared with the water analogy, here are some questions for you to reflect on as to thinking about what or who is no longer serving you.
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Who is draining your energy every time you see them?
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Who do you dread seeing so much that you keep putting it off?
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What things do you have that are weighing you down?
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What items, like clOthes, books, etc., do you often find yourself avoiding?
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Yeah.
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I love those questions.
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And there's like a radical thought here.
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Imagine you are a rosebush.
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Those things get pruned right back at least once a year, and then they grow back stronger.
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Yeah, and I think that's entirely the point here.
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And that's, such a good continuation of that.
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That pruning allows for better growth, and getting rid of the things that we don't need anymore, saying goodbye to people that are no longer adding to our lives.
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Positive things to our lives, you know, that's what allows us more space and time and energy to have more growth.
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You know, we make room for new things, whether that be experiences, new people, even materialistic, it's okay, like new items that bring us joy.
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There's just, there's just more room
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Mm.
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I love that.
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I love this idea that you take away to make space for more growth.
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All right.
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The next thing I want to talk about is how plants the best they can with the conditions they're given.
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And so a house plant will grow as best as it can in the shade or as best as it can in direct sun on the window ledge.
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The plant in the garden will grow as best as it can in the shade of that tree or in the full sun.
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And so this concept of bloom where you are planted.
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Do the best that you can, wherever you find yourself.
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Approach the world with gratitude for what you have.
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If you're a plant, that might be sun on your leaves, might be the shade on your soil.
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But do the best work of your life every day, with what you have around you.
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And for sure, focus on a better spot in the house or the garden.
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focus on whatever that next thing is.
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that you want to achieve, but be so freaking good at what you do now, where you are now, that it becomes inevitable that you would be given a better spot.
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Totally appreciate some of the things that you're saying in here.
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And I, I do have some different ways of thinking about this that I want to talk about, but first, what I hear in what you just shared was this idea of like, You know, being present and not always worrying about what the next thing is or what the next like milestone is.
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And as you put it, growing in place or maybe, you know, finding the best that you can where you are before getting there and like being present for that.
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Is that fair?
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Yeah.
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I think that is fair.
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And what I'm getting at here is, you know, as a manager and as a leader, I've come across a lot of people who,, are in a job and they're focused on the next job.
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Like this is the next job that I want.
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And they're so focused on it.
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They're not doing the the job they're hired for, and so I, I can't see what your skill set is.
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I can't see how good you are.
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I can't see how appropriate that next role is for you or even what the gap is between where you are now and where that is because you're so focused on it.
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I had a conversation with, with somebody last week who is applying for a job in an organization.
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And they said to me, you know, I'm applying for this job, but I think within a year I'll be in this other job that this organization has.
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And I'm thinking, so you don't want the job that you're applying for, you're seeing it as a stepping stone.
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And I actually said that and they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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I'm just going to get in there and I'm just going to start doing that with the job.
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And I was like, okay, how, how might that impact.
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Your leader's ability to be able to assess your performance, assess your talent, assess your potential.
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Um, so I, I think there's something there.
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For sure, for sure.
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Bringing it back to the planting thing, the, that makes me think back to the garden that we used to have and how,, we did our best to always plant things where they were going to do the best.
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But sometimes it was kind of like, okay, are the radishes going to do better here?
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Or are they going to do better over here where it's a little cooler?
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And so it's like, yeah, you, you have to see what it does.
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In a certain place to understand, okay, here's how it grew to, to your point, to understand the gap or the difference.
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Like what are the changes that you need to make?
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I love that there that you are signaling that people can actually show others around them, like how to help support them in new ways.
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by thinking about blooming where you are in that sense.
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mm, yeah.
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we have this, pilea.
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other people might call it, a Chinese money plant and, we bought it at the Brooklyn Botanical Garden when my parents were here, I don't know, like 18 months ago.
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And this thing is huge now.
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It's massive.
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And at one point it became these three stalks and I separated them into, three different pots and I was like, I'm just going to grow these, you know, kind of separately.
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What's delightful about it is that I've put all three of them in a different place and they've all fared differently.
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and what I realized was if I just rotate the three of them, because they can't all live in the one spot, right?
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But if I rotate the three of them, they're the same plant.
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They came from the same original plant and yet they fared differently in the different surroundings.
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and I, and I think that humans are like that.
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You know, we can look the same.
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We can seem like we came from the, from the same, but our experience has a show up in that place where we're planted in a different way.
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Oh, I like that a lot.
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That's a lot of fun.
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Hmm.
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So there's, another like lens to this, I think.
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And again, I love plants and some plans will literally take hold wherever they are.
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You know, we have a couple of interesting examples at home.
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they'll just use whatever's around, whatever conditions they're in.
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They just set roots down and everything.
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one example is like we're in the historic neighborhood within our city.
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And so the houses here are 125 plus years old.
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Like they're old, they're colorful, but like there's lots of cracks and stuff like that.
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And there's a house across the street where there's a big crack in the face of And every, we've been here two summers now.
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And both summers there's just been this really cool little flowering like thing that catches there.
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And I don't know if it's, if it's from seeds or if it's reseeding itself, but it just grows out of this crack and astonishes me in the way that, you know, beauty like that can actually find place just about anywhere.
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And it makes me like, I think there are people like that too,, any place that they're put, they can just take hold and thrive.
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as people, it's important for us to actually understand the environment around us to know if, is it going to be a place that we can thrive or, and be our best selves, or is it someplace that's going to be harder for us and cause us to struggle?
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So getting clear on what kind of space and conditions and, experiences you need to thrive feels really important here.
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At times you might feel like that houseplant that's stretching out for the sun that it can't quite get and reaching for it., those times are inevitable.
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I think we can't control all parts of our lives.
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Um, but I think that also helps us to find the space where we can.
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Things could be better and to understand what we need and, you know, sometimes how to ask for that in new ways.
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Yeah.
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I, I love that because I think sometimes I was about to say sometimes, but I actually think oftentimes is the case.
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We're not in control of every single little thing in our life.
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and there are things that we have to weather, we have to find a way through and you know, I'm sure that you and I have examples of that.
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I'm pretty sure our listeners will wear.
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You wish it was different, but it isn't.
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And you've gotta kind of grit through this thing, to get to the other side.
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How do you make the most of that?
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How do you come out the other side, you know, having learned something and thriving?
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for sure.
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For sure.
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Nice.
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I love that one.